by Hop Nation USA's Steve
On Episode 49(listen here) of the podcast, we had guest Jason Cercone pair some of the most popular WWE superstars with beers best representing them. Now on the precipice of Wrestlemania 34, I'm adding five of my own pairings.
Finn Balor is Goose Island Bourbon County Brand Stout
Wrestling smarks and craft beer snobs are a lot alike. They love gatekeeping their favorite wrestlers and turning on them once they get popular. “X was way better before.” Despite Finn and the BCBS both working for the corporate overlords reviled by trve fans (WWE and AB-InBev respectively), they’re both undeniable. The most toxic smarks will line up to meet Finn the same as toxic snobs would for BCBS. Even if they have to shit talk and not admit it to their friends afterwards. Finn and BCBS also have even more rare alter egos (Demon King/Proprietor’s)
Asuka is Troegs Mad Elf
No one is ready is Mad Elf. As far as officially judged beers there is no such thing as an undefeated beer. Even Pliney the Elder has fallen to Bell’s Two Hearted as the most popular. The one thing standing true, is Troegs Mad Elf has beaten everyone into an early night. It doesn’t matter if they’re experienced drinkers taking it too lightly or new drinkers not knowing what they’ve gotten themselves into. The sweet cherry flavor and warms spices lull you into a sense of security. Before you know it, the 12% killer has crept up on you, and you’re on your back counting the lights.
Becky Lynch is Duclaw El Kabong
The name implies something fun and silly. The flavor, though, is straight fire. Add in a dash of sweetness from apricots and its reddish hue, how does this pepper beer not embody the lovable Lasskicker? Only if it were a multi-time champ, a product of Ireland, and came with puns under the cap like a Snapple would it be better.
Mark Henry is Sam Adams Utopias
At 28% ABV, Utopias was once the World’s Strongest Beer. Even though it’s been awhile since Utopias has officially held this title, it still generates a buzz when it shows up. (Pun somewhat intended) Utopias may not be your favorite beer, but you definitely respect it. You wouldn’t hesitate at a chance to hang to out with it and post all over social media about. And if you don’t respect Utopias, it can just as easily induct you into the Hall of Pain. Utopias has reached a legendary status just the same as Hall of Famer Mark Henry.
Tommaso Ciampa is Bud Light Clamato
Fuck Tommaso Clamato.